Family of Glasses
by Sarahndipitously
Summary: Tamaki wants to meet the rest of Mommy's family. Kyoya isn't willing, but Tamaki's puppy dog eyes only seem to work on him. Rei related to Kyo? WHY THE FUCK DOES THAT GUY HAVE SHARK TEETH? And why is that guy stripping WARNING: SEXUAL TENSION BECAUSE EVERYONE IS GAY AS HELL Rated T for cursing and implications.
1. Chapter 1

**Yo, this was a collab fic with a friend of mine. We don't own Ouran High School Host Club or Free!.**

 **We will try to aim for weekly updates, but we might not always be on time.**

Tamaki was doing his usual whine and "let's bug Kyoya" act. He was curious as to why his darling Mommy never talked about his (her?) family. Most of the host club had seen the incident with Kyoya's father, but that was just about it. Tamaki knew he shouldn't pry, but it was so unfair. Kyoya knew everything about everyone's family, but Tamaki knew next to nothing about Kyoya's. He couldn't keep his curiosity within him. Breathing heavily, he approached Kyoya. He knew that Kyoya wasn't in a good mood, and he might get ignored (as he usually is). Kyoya was currently staring at his computer, deciding if he should censor the twin's nipples or not.

"Mommy?" Tamaki asked shyly.

"Do you need something, Daddy?" Kyoya continued working on his computer, barely acknowledging Tamaki's presence (as he usually would).

"I was wondering if I could ask you a really intimate question?"

"... No I'm not gay," Tamaki was taken aback at this comment and he could also feel a small dab (look at my dab… bitch dab) of disappointment ringing in his chest.

"Well… that wasn't what I was going to ask you, but what is your sexual orientation then?" Tamaki asked, distracted from his original plan.

"What did you want to ask me?" Kyoya's impatience grew and the clicking sound of typing increased.

Tamaki looked towards the side with his hand on his chin, trying to phrase his sentences in his head.

"Tamaki, if you don't ask me then you won't get an answer," Kyoya seemed to be getting more irritable. Maybe he had been secretly sleeping and Tamaki woke him up. Tamaki shuddered at the thought.

"I was just thinking about how you don't really share that much about your family. Maybe we could get in contact with them and have some tea (commoner's coffee)!" Tamaki squeaked.

"You've met my sister Fuyumi, my two brothers, encountered my grandmother, and you've seen my dad before. What else is there to know?" Kyoya was always good at keeping his cool (hence "the cool type" title), but Tamaki knew him better than anyone. Kyoya was annoyed at something and Tamaki was going to find out what.

"I didn't really get to know them though. I just had a brief introduction, if that," Tamaki pointed out.

Kyoya gave Tamaki a glare (glasses and all) and then closed his laptop with a slight click. "There is nothing more to my family that you should care to know," Kyoya started to leave.

"Is there something wrong, Kyoya? You seem to be really upset. Do you have something against your family?" Tamaki was getting worried for his friend.

"Tamaki, I don't want to talk about it. All you need to know is that my family has some strange people residing within the family tree."

Tamaki was starting to get desperate. He decided to bust out the puppy dog eyes. He knew Kyoya would give in.

Tamaki stared- no, pleaded- with his eyes.

"...I'm not tell-"

*stare*

"I said n-"

*stare*

Kyoya looked like he was having a very major conflict within his mind.

*stare*

"Tamaki, stop and I will tell you."

"Mon amie, please do tell!" Tamaki said, as he agreed to Kyoya's deal whilst hugging the shit out of Kyoya.

"Listen, you can't tell anyone else, or I might have to sue you," Kyoya whispered to Tamaki.

"I promise I won't tell anyone, Mommy!" Tamaki was overwhelmed with joy.

"I have a second cousin coming by my place next week," Kyoya whispered to Tamaki.

"You do?!" Tamaki was about to spring off the walls because of the overload of joy he was feeling.

"Sadly, he is bringing some of his friends with him," Kyoya said.

"That is okay with me! I always love more company," Tamaki smiled.

"That's not the point Tamaki. My cousin and I haven't seen each other in years and this was supposed to be the time we catch with each other. The fact that he'll have friends means he'll be sight seeing and since I'm technically the host I'll be funding it." Kyoya was raging at this point.

"Kyoya, you need to stop worrying so much about your 'precious money'. Relax a little, and enjoy yourself for a change!" Tamaki was trying to cheer Kyoya up, "If you want, I could show them around the city. That would make it a lot cheaper for you, and it would mean that I could meet them as well! It is the perfect scenar-"

" are not going to meet them Tamaki."

"Oh come on, Kyoya! Give me a chance! You haven't even given it a second thought," Tamaki whined.

"The idea is so preposterous that it doesn't need a second thought."

"How would it be impossible? It is valid in your situation, Mommy," Tamaki was beginning to get desperate again.

"I don't want my only reasonable family member to be creeped out by some blonde French kid."

"I'm not creepy! I think that I am fairly charming. Maybe I might be too much for him, now that you think about it. My perfection might get to his head…What's his name anyway?" Tamaki asked.

"If I tell you will you please stop pestering me?" Now Kyoya was starting to get desperate as well.

"Of course, Mommy," Tamaki promised.

Kyoya knew he was lying.

"His name is Rei. Ryugazaki Rei, _and_ ," Kyoya interrupted Tamaki before he could even ask, "he has a different last name because he is my _second cousin_."

Kyoya tried to leave the room once more, but was stopped by a certain French bastard pleading- begging on his hands and knees to meet Rei.

"Please! Please! Please! I really want to meet him! I will even pay for all the expenses that should be involved with hosting Rei and his friends. You won't have to pay any money whatsoever!" Tamaki promised. He really wanted to meet Rei… (it was to the point where it was almost an obsession- no it _was_ an obsession). Hell, even the baby seal eyes were ready on command.

Kyoya considered the thought. Not spending (wasting) any money was great, but it was Tamaki. _Tamaki_. If he was the tour guide, then he'd end up running to all of the 'commoner's supermarkets' and not the actual monuments. Hell, Tamaki would want to do sightseeing himself. All in all, it was a recipe for disaster. _But,_ money wise, it was a great deal. And besides, Kyoya could control Tamaki so it wasn't as if he was sending a bunch of kids with some drunkard in the city.

"Alright you can go-"

"THANK YOU SO MUCH, MOMMY! THIS IS GOING TO BE THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE! WE ARE GOING TO HAVE SO MUCH FUN!" Kyoya was drowning out Tamaki's words, instantly regretting the decision that he had made (even if it was for the greater good (that being money)).


	2. Chapter 2

Rei was taking his turn doing laps, of course doing the butterfly stroke (legit the only thing he _can_ do). Makoto, being the team captain, was giving Rei tips on how he could accelerate his speed.

"Really extend your arms out and pull the water with you, Rei!" Makoto shouted in Rei's direction."

"Maybe he only swims free," Haru says in his usual monotone voice.

"He can't swim free… He's like a caged butterfly that sticks to math," Gou said, "Wait, that's actually what he is. A really muscular mathematically bound butterfly."

Rei appears from under the water and begins to yell at the others, "Hey! Don't call me that. It isn't beautiful…" Rei says ashamed.

"Just try to leap out of the water more to cover more ground and try not to take as many breaths; it slows you down." Makoto was trying to be helpful, but Rei had aLREADY STUDIED THE THEORY OF IT ALL, GOD DAMMIT!

"It's okay Rei- _chan_ -"

"It's _san_ to you, Nagisa."

Nagisa pouted.

Rei rolled his eyes at Nagisa, "Stop being so sad. I hate to see you that way, even though you are as annoying as a fly that won't get the hell out of my face."

"I like to think that I'm a penguin," Nagisa said while eating strawberry pokey.

"Quit flirting you two," Makoto sighed, "and Rei finish your 400 meters."

"Alright, Makoto. I'm going to make it as beautiful as I possibly can!" Rei shouted as he pointed up at the sky with the most determined look on his face… He was really trying to be beautiful (that poor bastard).

"Swim free, Rei. Always remember that." Saying that Haru is bad at giving advice would be an understatement.

Makoto smiled with his little cute face and continued with Rei's drills. While Rei was on his 325th meter, Makoto noticed that Rei's phone went off. It was a call from a guy called Ootori Yoshio.

"Rei, some _Ootori_ guy is calling you right now!" Makoto shouted.

Rei popped out of the water faster than Haru when he sees Rin or mackerel.

"Wait seriously?!" Rei shouted back. He almost drowned of surprise.

"Yeah… Do you want to come pick it up?"

"Yeah sure, just lemme get out of the po- NAGISA DON'T YOU DARE TOUCH THAT PHONE!"

"Too late," Nagisa chirped. He fucking _chirped_.

"GOD DAMMIT, NAGISA!" Rei shouted at the top of his lungs… but it was still beautiful.

"Hello?" Nagisa asked to this mysterious Ootori guy enthusiastically.

"AT _LEAST_ PUT HIM ON SPEAKER, NAGISA," Rei wailed, dramatically wiping the tears (pool water) from his eyes (because his goggles fell off, again).

Nagisa complied (surprisingly) and hit the speaker button.

" _With whom am I speaking to?!"_ The Ootori guy said.

"My name is Nagisa!" Nagisa said into the phone joyfully.

" _May I please speak with Ryugazaki Rei?"_

"Sure! Let me hand the phone over to him real quick," Nagisa said, "Make sure you dry your hands before you touch your phone, Rei."

"Nagisa, so help me, or I will- gahhh!" Rei was exasperated. Nagisa cheerily handed the phone over and demanded that Rei keep it on speaker.

"Hello, Uncle Yoshio," Rei said, "It's been a while, hasn't it?"

" _Quite. I called you to inform you of some plans. My son needs some… motivation to succeed. He seems to be falling behind. I think that you could do something to help him,"_ Yoshio said.

The rest of the team was confused. Since when did Rei have a cousin?

"What could I do?" Rei asked with a glint in his glasses (when the fuck did he put those back on?).

" _Next week you are coming down to Bunkyō, Tokyo. I have enrolled you into Ouran Academy and you will be going there for a month to rekindle the fire under my son."_

"Well… Uncle, this seems like too short of a notice. I'm not sure that I will be able to make it anyhow. I am on swim team now, and I have prior commitments to it. I can't just stop practicing. I have been trying my best to get better at it. The team is relying on me to get better for the upcoming races that we will be attending,"

" _You don't have any choice or say in the matter. I have already spoken to your mother and she had allowed you to come. I have also made accommodations for your friends. They have been given the choice to join you and we have a pool at Ouran. It was your Mother's only condition."_

Rei thanked his mother and started to get a tad pissed at his uncle.

"When are we going to be boarding the plane?" Rei asked, trying to hide the fact that he was pissed.

" _The plane departs at 10:00 p.m. next Friday,"_ Yoshio said, " _I sent the tickets and uniforms to each of your personal lodgings. Also, each of your parents have given me their permission to take you all. I shall be saying goodbye now, and I will see you next week. Kyoya will be very happy to see you."_

The call ended and Rei said, "I can't wait to see you too, Kyoya." There was a hint of malice in his voice.

"Do you guys want to come?" Rei asked his friends. He was secretly hoping they wouldn't, but he knew they were dying to join in on the _fun._

'I'd love to," Makoto said with a smile.

"They have a pool, don't they?" Haru's answer was obvious.

"I can't let you guys have all the fun!" Nagisa exclaimed.

"It's settled then. We will be leaving next Friday at 10:00 p.m.. I just hope that the flight won't be delayed," Rei said.

"I'm sure that we will be fine, Rei. Don't worry so much about it! Be excited that you get to see your cousin again!" Nagisa jumped..

"Second cousin actually, but I sure am _excited,_ " Rei's tone was quite devious, hell even a little scary. The team shuddered (except for Haru.)

"As manager of this team, I demand that I go as well!" Gou said… (haha, no pun intended).

"Sure, if you want. I guess it couldn't hurt," Rei responded.

Everything seemed to drown out because Rei's thoughts were more important than the team arguing about Gou coming. (I was actually going to say "going"... but no).

Rei was looking forward to seeing his second cousin again. They seemed to be the only _somewhat_ sane people in their family and they may or may not have a competitive rivalry over everything.

"Rei-chan, tell us about your Uncle and second cousin!" Nagisa commanded.

"Yeah, we'd love to learn about them," Makoto said cheerily. Haru just nodded and Gou was fantasizing about what type of muscles Kyoya would have.

"Maybe later. Practice is over anyway and I have a lot of homework today. I will see you all later," Rei excused himself from the group, just for the sake of not wanting to talk anymore.

Next week was going to be _fun_ , so to speak.


	3. Chapter 3

_**Yo guys! So we're back with another chapter yay! That's really all I have to say... Characters might come off as a tad bit OC.**_

Kyoya was walking through the hallway, and down into his father's office because he had been summoned. Posture rigid, Kyoya stood at his father's office his hand hovering over the door knob. Every time he had this conflict: should he knock or should he just barge in? It is his own home so he should be entitled to enter without knocking, right?

His father called him in. Kyoya widened his eyes because it was almost like his father knew that he was right at the door. Kyoya inhaled and thought to himself, " _Here we go again…"_ Kyoya took a deep breath and entered. His father sat at his desk with his hands folded.

"Kyoya," He said, his voice laced with disappointment, "You managed to stay at the top of your class, with perfection and ease. But you have done nothing to impress me. Your brothers have won major awards in academics and even in sports. All you've managed to win are honor roll awards."

Kyoya only stared at his father. He couldn't think of anything to say, let alone just not wanting to say anything to him. His father only cared about awards. Kyoya was angry, but out of respect he kept his cool. If his father wanted awards, then he'd get awards. Hell, so many that they'd have to get an entire case for the trophies.

"Since you have done nothing to impress me so far, I have invited your cousin, Rei, over to put you back in your place, which is at the top. Rei is coming for an entire month, just to make sure that my plan will have its full effect," Yoshio said to Kyoya.

It took all of Kyoya's willpower not to shout out in surprise. He knew Rei was coming, but for an entire month? Does that mean he would be going to Ouran? Would his friends also be staying for a month? Kyoya was a little annoyed by this fact. He knew that Rei wasn't all that bad of a cousin, but being with him for an entire month might get annoying (not including the fact that all of his friends were going to be there). Not to mention he and his second cousin had a, erm, _tiny_ competitive side with each other.

"Does that mean that they are going to Ouran?" Kyoya asked hesitantly.

"Of course. Their education matters too," Yoshio glared at Kyoya, expecting Kyoya to know this already, "Besides, how on earth would Rei help you if you were at different schools?"

Kyoya just stared with a face of shame.

Yoshio continued to inform his son, taking his silence as an invitation to continue, "He is bringing four friends with him, three boys and one girl. Those three boys will be rooming together and and the girl will room with Fuyumi. You will share your room with Rei."

Koya inwardly groaned. He was afraid that their rivalry would get the best of them. What would happen then? Would they see who could murder each other best?

"That is all that I have to say. Please excuse yourself from my presence," Yoshio glared at Kyoya again.

Kyoya gave one glance to his father, looked down, then walked out of the room. With a click, he closed the door. He knew that his father was only trying to make him work harder for his wishes, but it was to the point where it was getting ridiculous. His father was making his second cousin come over to "put him back into his place", when that isn't really going to do anything. All that is going to happen is drama and rivalry (and a whole lot of muscle contests).

Time Skip brought to you by: Rei and his beautiful muscles

Kyoya flopped down on his bed. He discarded all of his good posture as soon as he left the hall his father was located in. Kyoya thought about what had just come out of his father's mouth. He couldn't just keep this in until the next school day. He needed to talk to one of his friends right now. He needed to rant, and the only person that he could rant to without being judged was Tamaki. Sadly.  
Kyoya found his phone (he had thrown it out of frustration earlier) and dialed a familiar number. Tamaki was quick to respond.

"Mommy?" Tamaki asked out of surprise.

"Tamaki, we need to talk," Kyoya demanded.

"About what? We never talk outside of school, unless it is for business," Tamaki states.

"You know how my _dear_ second cousin is coming next week?" Kyoya asked.

"Yeah…" Tamaki waited for the rest of the story.

"Well, you tour guide job is off," Kyoya stated, sounding completely poker faced.

"What?!" Tamaki practically shouted into the phone.

"Your tour guide job is off," Kyoya repeated.

"But…But why? I was really looking forward to it. Is your cousin not coming?" Tamaki asked confused (while he was wailing about the fact that he wasn't going to lead Kyoya's family around Tokyo).

"No, he's still coming..." Kyoya trailed off.

"Then why is my job off?" Tamaki was still confused.

"Because my father is an illuminated asshole," Kyoya said bitterly.

"I'm really confused, Kyoya. What are you trying to tell me?" Tamaki asked.

"My damn father just decides that I'm not dedicated enough any more so he needs to a light a fire beneath me, which means bringing in my cousin so that we can be extremely competitive over everything fOR A GODDAMN MONTH!" Kyoya was raging, again.

"Kyoya... Are you sharing your feelings…?" Tamaki was so surprised by this fact. Kyoya hadn't really ever expressed any sort of feeling other than annoyment in front of people that he went to school with.

"THE FACT THAT MY FATHER FORCED MY COUSIN TO COME OVER AND GO TO OURAN FOR A MONTH ALONG WITH HIS FRIENDS JUST TO MAKE ME WORK HARDER MAKES ME A LITTLE MAD!" And Kyoya was still raging ( he doesn't do this to often).

"Wait...did you just say a whole… month…?" Tamaki thought on this for a second recalling everything that Kyoya has just yelled at him through the phone. Realization struck him suddenly, "At… Ouran?"

"Yeah. Sadly." Kyoya said. He had calmed down a bit, "Most of us will be in the same year so yay. Note the sarcasm."

"What is so wrong about that, Kyoya. Aren't you excited to be able to catch up with your family and some of Rei's friends?" Tamaki asked with concern in his voice.

"No. Catching up means racing for the finish line. We'll be at each other's necks by the end of the day." Kyoya sounded miserable.

"But I thought that you said that this was a time for you guys to catch up, no? Hmm… What is really going on here, Kyoya?"

"I was hoping you wouldn't have to see the competitive side of me, Tamaki, and that's all I'm saying," Kyoya said with a _don't-give-me-shit_ tone.

And with that Kyoya hung up and flopped back down onto his bed to massage the headache that was starting to form.


	4. Chapter 4

_**Sorry for the extremely late update guys! My partner and I just weren't typing for a while.**_

 _ **She finally got a fanfiction account and is an awesome writer. Her account is: kalu342**_

 _ **SDiah;gonl/kfs'jopdnka**_

 _ **ON WITH THE STORY!**_

The day of the swim team's departure to "unknown waters" rolled around and they were all extremely excited, except for Rei. Makoto researched the Ootori family (against the loud protests of Rei) and found out that they were one of the richest families in Japan. Makoto also found out that Ouran Acadamy was a prestigious school for the (fucking) filthy ritch. He saw a brochure, and in one of the panels he saw something about a "Host Club". He questioned it, but kept it to himself. Makoto wondered if he should mention it to the swim club. He could tell that it would be an awkward conversation nonetheless.

They were walking down the street, and Nagisa was bugging Rei (as usual). Rei had been insistent on making everyone leave for the airport one hour after school, after swim practice of course. School basically ended at 5 and boarding time was 10… Rei just didn't want to be late. He knew that his uncle was upset about people being late, even if it was because of a missed plane (especially because it involved losing money). Either way, the rest of his friends were a bit miffed that they only had one hour to say goodbye to their families. This added to their skepticalness of why Rei had seemed to be acting up, of course, they all knew that he wasn't going to share anything about that anytime soon. (Maybe it just wasn't beautiful enough… (sorry about that one)).

After saying their goodbyes (Makoto was tackled by his siblings and Gou was told by Rin not to go off and get in _trouble_ (Gou slapped him for that)), the group headed to the airport and lost Nagisa for a half hour in the food court. Rei used this little skirmish to support his reasonings to get to the airport extremely early.

"Rei-chan, what's your family like?" Nagisa asked while chewing on a bread roll. The group had made it to terminal T (where they were supposed to board their plane) and were currently waiting.

"I told you for probably the 50th time Nagisa, you will find out when we get there!" Rei whined at Nagisa. Rei was obviously getting annoyed with the constant pestering.

"But we want to know nooow~" Nagisa said. Haru nodded and Rei groaned.

"God dammit, Nagisa!" Rei practically shouted. He noticed that a few people looked at him, and he blushed, but he didn't really care. Some of the families even covered their children's ears.

"Now, now, guys, we mustn't terrorize him," Makoto said, trying (I repeat, _trying_ ) to keep the peace.

Rei sighed and Haru just stood there…. Breathing and stuff.

Haru noticed that Rei was looking at him and they had a staring moment.

Makoto looked jealous: those staring moments were supposed to be shared by only him and Haru.

As Rei continued to look at Haru, Haru finally questioned him, "What's up, Rei?"

"Nothing, my family isn't beautiful!"

"But you are," Nagisa said with a punk voice while wiggling his eyebrows ( _ **We don't own 50% off, that belongs to Octopimp and Sparky**_ ).

"HOLY SHIT WHERE DID THAT COME FROM?!" The entire group jumped back in surprise. Parents, once again covered their children's ears whilst glaring at the group; blaming them for the bad futures that their children would now have.

"What do you mean?" Nagisa asked innocently.

"Okay then…" Rei said. He was still a bit traumatized.

They continued to bicker from then until it was time to board the plane. Once they were on the plane, they all fell asleep (except for Haru cuz' he never sleeps!).

Timeskip brought to you by: Kyoya's glistening glasses.

When the plane finally landed in Tokyo, the team got off and took a well deserved stretch. Rei noticed that his stomach was not pleased with the plane trip. He excused himself from the group to tend to his nausea. Rei found the nearest bathroom (with difficulty, for it is a fucking airport) and then proceeded to throw up the bread Nagisa bought him earlier. After a few minutes of continuous barfing, he heard a knock on the stall door and then heard, "Are you okay, Rei?" It was a familiar voice- Haru. Of course, Rei wasn't expecting this.

Rei didn't respond.

"You can tell me, it's not like I'll tell anyone else," Haru said in a monotone voice.

"How did you know that something was wrong?" Rei asked.

"Well… you've made it really obvious," Haru said. Right after that, Rei got another wave of nausea and threw up some more of what was nothing now.

"Man, are you air sick or something?" Haru asked, with his poker face.

"I-I guess," Rei stuttered and then coughed.

"What's really wrong?" It sounded as if Haru was reading off a teleprompter, and doing a shitty job at it. Rei decided to ignore this and think this random act of kindness was from the heart of Haru.

"I don't think I should tell you… It wouldn't be fair to the others, would it?" Rei asked.

Haru sighed and then said, "Let me in, Rei."

Rei sighed (lots of sighing) and opened the stall door. Some guy at the urinal shouted, "GAAAY!"

They gave him a death glare and he shut up.

"Go on," Haru said.

Rei gave him a confused look. He knew exactly what Haru was talking about, but he was just stalling ( _ **Haha… stall and stalling… cuz' they're in a stall… get it? "This is why I have no friends" - Kalu 2016 "That moment when you're one of Kalu's friends"- Shad 2016**_ ). He didn't want to talk about it, even if Haru would really keep his word about keeping whatever Rei said a secret. Haru just kept staring at him with the same face and waited for a response from the boy with red glasses. Rei finally gave in. He had to tell at least one person. Haru would be the perfect person.

"My second cousin, Kyoya, and I are pretty close, I-I think. And we're kind of the only sane people in our family, which is saying something."

So far Haru wasn't getting the point.

Rei continued, "Kyoya and I, are really, um, _competitive_ , to say the least. Everything we do is a competition; grades, games, who can push their glasses up sexier (I totally won by the way), and even who could get the most attention from our teachers."

Haru still waited for Rei to finish, still giving him the same look he always has and not saying a word.

"I'm just worried that when we meet up with Kyoya, we are going to end up competing for who can kill each other in the most creative way possible…" Rei said sarcastically.

Haru finally realized the problem. He started to awkwardly pat Rei's back as Rei started to vomit. Again.

Once Rei was finished (which he obviously rushed), he grabbed Haru's hand and put it to his side. He shook his head, and looked to the side awkwardly.

As they exited the stall, the same man from earlier shouted, "GAAAY!"

"WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE?!" Rei shouted.

Another man who exited the stall next to Haru and Rei, was in tears.

"Your story moved me so much," he said.

"Hmm?" Rei asked.

"You know…" the man started again, grabbing Rei's hand and holding it with both of his, "You are really strong. How you have managed to keep up with this type of relationship is beyond me."

"Uhh, thanks?" Rei awkwardly scratched the back of his neck.

"Listen honey, from one gay to another-"

"I'm not gay!" (yes you are Rei, yes you are).

The man continued, "You're gonna family problems like this all of the time. But guess what? That's what makes family awesome. Every family has its quirks and that's what make you you, as cheesy as it sounds. Stay strong, and remember, a little competition is fine. Don't try to see who kills each other the best though."

Rei awkwardly retracted his hand from the man and thanked him.

"Thank you for your advice," Rei said, "It's better than this guy's," Rei pointed to Haru who was just staring at the water pouring out of the sink.

"No problem, Mister…" The man urged for the name of the boy with the red glasses.

"Ryugazaki Rei, and you are?" Rei asked.

"The name's Morow Hisoka," He licked his lips, washed his hands, and strutted out of the bathroom like a queen ( _ **WE DON'T OWN HXH EITHER**_ ).

Rei was slightly (by slightly, we mean extremely) creeped out. Haru was too busy staring at the sink to notice.

R, and ei got Haru's attention, notifying him that it was time to head back to the others. Once they found Makoto, NagisaGou, Nagisa began to shout at Rei again, "Rei! Are you okay!? We sent Haru to check on you because we were so worried!"

"I'm fine, Nagisa," Rei said calmly.

"Okay…." Makoto said with an unsure voice.  
"Guys, let's get to the exit so we can meet up with our ride," Gou said.

The group agreed and headed towards the exit. The airport was like a maze, and Nagisa accidentally took some six year old girl's penguin suitcase, for it was the same style as his. The team face palmed.

"You guys judging me?" Nagisa asked with his punk voice. The group then freaked the fuck out and Nagisa pretended as if nothing happened. It's like he had some ultra persona or something.

The team decided to just brush it off and deal with the situation, so they could meet up with Rei's second cousin They got Nagisa's bag back and began to walk to where their ride was said to be. Rei was beginning to get nauseated again.

The group plopped down on the benches and waited for, umm, well they didn't actually know what they were waiting for. So, they made the _smart_ decision to just sit there and hope that Rei's cousin would walk up to them.

"What's this guy's name anyway?" Gou asked Rei.

"Oh, I haven't told you yet?" Rei asked, truly baffled about the fact that he forgot to tell them.

"No, you were too busy complaining about how 'not beautiful' your family was," Nagisa chirped.

"His name is Ootori Kyoya," Rei said blushing with embarrassment.

Everyone nodded.

In the corner of his eye, Rei could see a figure in the distance. He looked forward and his glistening purple eyes gazed upon a floppy-like figure jumping up and down like a maniac while holding some sparkly and illegible sign. He saw the familiar figure next to the floppy thing: Kyoya, who was clearly trying to keep his cool and pretend that he wasn't associated in anyway with the blonde.

 _ **That's a wrap! Stay tuned. I honestly don't know when the update will be out though.**_

 _ **Sorry about the banter in the middle. Also sorry for making Haru a bit OC in this chapter. We tried to keep him as true to the character as possible, but this fic started out as a crack fic so it's still a tad cracky. Should we make more 50% Off innuendos?**_

 _ **Thanks for reading!**_

 _ **~Shad**_

 _ **P.S. Hisoka is a gay lord. I don't care what you say.**_


	5. Chapter 5

**Okay... I know we haven't updated in months even though we wanted to update weekly...**

 **I'm sorry, and as an apology, we have an extremly cringy chapter with our two gay groups meeting. GAY FOR EVERYONE!**

 **Now, the moment you've all been waiting for, TEENAGE ANGST!**

Kyoya Ootori doesn't normally regret things. Normally, Kyoya makes logical decisions so that he _won't_ regret them. Giving into the puppy eyes and taking Tamaki with him to go pick up his cousin and company was not a good decision. Kyoya didn't even _have_ to pick Rei up, but Tamaki insisted with his ways of persuasion.

Kyoya looked in the distance to see his second cousin and a few other people with him. He felt an aching in his head- right on cue. He had a huge stare down with his cousin. It was like everyone else in the background disappeared, and it was just him and Rei.

Kyoya was glad that Tamaki was kinda (extremely) dull, for he did not want his _dear, dear_ friend to charge into the awaiting battle that was sure to happen upon the fancy carpet floor.

Rei gave Kyoya a look of disgust, and then quickly turned his face to the side to look away. Unfortunately, Tamaki knew how to spot a main character and immediately knew that the blue indigo head of hair belonged to no other than REI RYUGAZAKI BITCHES! Tamaki ran up to them, aiming for Rei. He then embraced the indigo haired boy. Said boy was thoroughly freaked out and did a weird ass wiggle worm shimmy thing to escape the stranger's assault.

Rei's dance alerted Nagisa and the tiny blond shouted at the tall blond, "WHAT ARE YOU DOIN" WITH MAH MAN?! WHERE ARE YOU TAKING MAH MAN?!"

Everyone in the airport freaked the fuck out and Makoto decided to take matters into his own hands.

"GOD DAMMIT NAGISA, STOP DOING THAT! STOP DA DRUGS YOU GONNA DIE!"

Kyoya approached the group and wondered what type of crowd his cousin picked up. To be quite honest, Kyoya was worried that he would be murdered in his sleep by the short blond- Nagisa Hazuki, wasn't it?

Tamaki was staring at the rambunctious crowd with a new glint in his eye, which made Kyoya very worried..

"Kyoya," Tamaki asked with complete seriousness.

"Yes, Tamaki?" Kyoya responded, still worried.

"WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME THAT YOUR COUSIN'S FRIENDS ARE STUNNINGLY DASHING? I ASSUMED YOUR COUSIN WOULD BE GOOD LOOKING BECAUSE HE WAS RELATED TO YOU BUT, THIS IS A SIGHT TO BEHOLD!" Tamaki shouted with gusto.

Kyoya thought he saw airport security heading their way. _Oi...I kind of knew that this would happen. I shouldn't have brought this baka in the first place!_ Kyoya scowled to himself.

"Uh guys," Makoto asked, "Why are those officers running towards us?"

Kyoya facepalmed.

"Oh, they're after me," Nagisa said reverting into his creepy ass thug voice which still scared the shit out of everyone.

"WAIT WHAT?!" Everyone shouted. The large group then proceeded to run, really fast.

"What type of friends do you have?" Kyoya asked Rei, whilst pushing his glasses up sexily and running.

"I happen to have amazing friends, mind you, even though they aren't the most sane people," Rei replied, a little unsurely, and he too pushed up his glasses sexily while running.

The two teens glared at each other.

They soon snapped back into reality after their little stare down. They heard the officers yelling at them to stop, or they would taze them. Surprise washed over all of their faces. Haruka was the first one to stop running (because he be slow in the first place, dat mackerel only help da swimmin).

Nagisa was still instinctively still sprinting away from the police as usual… so Haruka helped Makoto grab Nagisa, just to save Nagisa from… You know… Being tazed and shit.

Kyoya stepped forward. The police instantly recognized that he was an Ootori.

"These (lunatics) are my _friends._ They haven't done anything wrong. They have just become excited because this is, uh, reunion," Kyoya said to the officers.

"My, my… Mister...Hiiragiya," Tamaki said looking at his badge then continuing, "You look quite lovely today." Rose petals floated around in the background as the prince made the seductive comment which was topped off with a sexy face and pose.

"Uh, is this normal?" Gou asked Kyoya.

"Sadly,'' Kyoya retorted.

"Well, umm, mister Ootori," officer Hiiragiya said, still recovering from Tamaki's comment, "We apologize for the inconvenience, have a good day," He said, bowing to the raven haired boy.

The group started to leave the airport, legally this time, leaving poor Rei and Kyoya at the baggage pick up because those two are the only smart ones.

Rei couldn't help but glare at Kyoya, for he knew that this trip would only mean trouble. It's been that way so far, right? Kyoya noticed Rei's glare and returned it.

"What is it?" Kyoya spat at Rei.

"Nothing," Rei growled.

"I know that you don't want to be here! And I don't want you here either, but you can stop being a bastard, and just get the fuck over it!" Kyoya shouted at Rei.

"Your father's fucking insane: bringing me over here to deal with you!"

"It's not like I fuCKING ASKED FOR IT! AND DON'T INSULT MY FATHER, ONLY I CAN! "

"WELL NEITHER DID I!" Rei shouted back, "YOUR FATHER MADE A HUGE FUCKING MISTAKE HAVING YOU!"

Kyoya's eyes widened with shock.

"WELL AT LEAST I HAVE A FATHER!" Kyoya yelled in anger.

"WELL AT LEAST I HAVE A MOTHER AND NOT A WANNABE SISTER MOTHER THING!" Rei shouted back.

At this time, the two boys were getting closer and closer and shouting in each other's faces, elegantly of course. (Yes… Rei was still beautiful doing so.)

Also, at this time, Tamaki noticed that his Mommy was missing and decided that he must pronounce a QUEST TO FIND THE MISSING MOMMY.

"WHERE DID MAH MAN GO?! WHAT DID YOU DO TO MAH MAN?!" Nagisa asked. At this point, only Makoto was slightly freaked out.

The two blondes walked (strutted) side by side, searching for their beloveds. Nagisa catches a glimpse of the indigo haired boy yelling in the face of the raven haired boy.

"Oh yeah! MAH MAN IS A SCRAPPER!" Nagisa yelled.

"I've only seen Kyoya lose his cool a couple of times: THIS IS ENTRANCING!' Tamaki exclaimed.

Kyoya caught the figure of Tamaki's flopping body again. _Shit._ He thought to himself, then he looked back at Rei again, who was still huffing in his face. Kyoya's face relaxed, telling Rei that he had won the fight. Rei backed off when Kyoya walked around him and went to Tamaki.

"Mommy-chan!" Tamaki embraced Kyoya, "Did he hurt you Mommy? I will get Mori-senpai to hurt him back!" Tamaki shouted protecting his beloved Mommy and threatening Rei at the same time.

"Tamaki, this is my cousin, Rei. He and I are like two people that hate each other very much, but we secretly don't hate each other." Kyoya said to Tamaki as if he was explaining the birds and the bees.

"Pffffft," Rei laughed, "I beg to differ but…"

Kyoya glared at him again. Rei's grin was wiped off of his face after a while, and he glared right back.

"Ooooo, I want mah man to look at me with that type of ferocity, meeow!" It's pretty obvious who said this.

This time, everyone was creeped out and a tad bit disturbed. Rei pushed up his glasses in an impatient manner.

Kyoya pushed up his glasses in a sexy way. Rei did the same. Tamaki, Gou, and Nagisa where on the brink of nosebleeds.

Haru and Makoto realized that they were left alone… together. Haru decided to be classical Haru and get in the fountain in the middle of the airport.

"Haru!" Makoto whinned, running to help him out of the fountain, "Let me help you out of the swimsuit… I mean fountain. Fountain, yeah," Makoto said to Haru, reaching his hand out to Haru's.

Gou noticed and said, "That boy ain't right."

Everyone nodded, except for Makoto because he was being too gay to do anything else, and Haru was being too, umm, H20sexual.

"Guys," Kyoya said getting the gay people's attention, "get your luggage bags."

The gay swim team rushed to find their luggage and came back. Guess those muscles come in handy, you know, other than just making everyone wanna touch them.

A limo was heard in the background, urging the gay group to hurry up their shit.


End file.
